BERLIN, MD — — Purnell B. Jarvis, Jr., candidate for Mayor of Berlin, today flatly denied rumors that he was in charge of spell-checking the signage for the upcoming Fiddler's Convention. 'I am not the Mayor—yet,' Purnell noted.

Purnell says that anyone familiar with his record knows he has spent decades studying brown liquor bottle labels and would never make such an error.

"I know how to spell distillery. D-I-S-T-I-L-L-E-R-Y. I can spell it forwards, backwards, and probably in cursive after a couple of samples."

"And I don't mean to sound high falutin', but I'm not too bad with apostrophes, either" he added.

The campaign asked supporters to direct any spelling complaints to the current administration and promised no such slip up will occur when Purnell takes office.

###